Oh, Baby!

Oh, you thought my adventures stopped when I left the gym?  Well, you’d be wrong.  Let me tell you a little about my job.  I’m a nanny.

Yes, let that sink in.  This fowl mouthed, life threatening, insane person that you know and love as ‘Ally the Wunner’, is a nanny.

Somehow, I curb my bad behavior and terrible language at the door, and turn on the sweet baby tamer.  Really, I have taken care of children forever, and I think I’ve only accidentally dropped a bomb once (that I can remember).

Anyways, yeah so, while I nanny the future, dumb shit continues to happen to me.  Let me bring you into story time…

I’m out walking the baby, like I do every day, that I am with him.  We have the same route through his neighborhood, and we typically stop at the same points.  Mostly to make sure that he’s not chewing on a leaf (this has happened), or sleeping; Also to get some baby hugs and kisses, which I steal from him quite often.  So one day, we are walking through the neighborhood, and we stop in the shade of a tree on the side of the road.  I am just about to snuggle up to his face and give him some seriously annoying kisses, when this woman pulls up next to me in her Jeep.

‘Did you see the deer?’ she asks.

‘…huh? No…’ I say, while looking at her like she’s crazy.

‘It’s right over there, in that yard.  I watched it cross the street, and now it’s right there’.  She says this while pointing to the backyard of a house that we are standing LITERALLY right next to.

The more she moved her car, the more the deer stared in our general direction.  The woman began to creep her car forward (maybe trying to scare it away?), and the deer seemed to step closer.

At that point, I ‘NOPED’ the fuck right out of there.  All I could think and picture was a deer galloping towards me and the carriage full of precious cargo, and WHATTHEFUCKWOULDIDO? I actually pictured myself pushing the carriage toward a deer and me running in the opposite direction!  I mean, are you kidding?!  That would never happen!!!  We all know I can’t run… I mean, I would also never leave the baby in harm’s way… but for real… ME RUNNING?!

Anyways, for the rest of the walk, I spent my time texting everyone about this new ordeal, and looking back over my shoulder waiting for Bambi to strike.

 

Here’s another ‘funny’ about my time with the Little Man.

So, as I have established many, many times before, I am weak.  Sore, old, and weak.  It doesn’t seem to matter how much weight I lose, or how much I work out and strengthen my muscles… I’m weak.  I’d like to blame most of it on the back injury a few years ago (remember THOSE fun blog entries??).  I mean, when I sit down, the creaking and cracking bones can be heard across the house.  When I stand up, I seem to groan every single time, out of pure necessity.

Well, a few weeks ago, my little one year old nugget muffin began to moan, too.  Every time the kid stands up, he groans… just like me.  When he sits down, he sounds relieved…just like me.

At first I was mortified, because his Dad noticed and said, ‘HAHA! Is he making the same noises as you??’  Then it just became funny to watch this little boy act like an elderly man.  I mean, the fact that he copies me is hilarious, but the idea that he’s copying something so utterly ridiculous makes it even funnier.

Until I remember that he’s copying me….

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‘Deer Face’, to protect the innocent.

It’s Been A While…

No, not from excersising, or watching what I am eating; but from blogging about it.

In fact, life gets busy sometimes, am I right?  Summer events, work, school, parties, dinners with friends… things happen and they get in our way.  This post is to prove that no matter what comes your way, you can work out, be healthy, and be a better you.

Let’s start here; In the last year, I had a debilitating back injury, took a promotion at work in another state, lost my uncle, lost my job, went through a bit of a depression, went on vacation, got motivated, and got moving.

I have lost 33 pounds and a total of 41 inches.  Want some more to marinate on?  Let’s talk totals for working out… in the last year I have:

Gone 414.5 Miles

Burned 99,961 Calories

Worked out 238 times

In a total time of 108:42:46

Those numbers astound me, and I’m the one who’s working out!  The best part is, those numbers aren’t even accurate!  Countless times, I have forgotten to track my moves.

So, there it is, proof that even if life brings you plenty of ‘downs’ you are in complete control of your ‘ups’.

 

Instant Gratification? …Please??

So I’ve been working out, pretty religiously, for a couple months now. In fact, if you remember a while back, I told you I had NINETY prepaid sessions at the gym? Well, now I have about 70. That means that on 20 days (not including those that I didn’t work with my trainer), I went to the gym, was beaten up by my drill sargent, and then finished off with some cardio.
The problem now, is that I am not seeing the results. I know, I know. You’re thinking, but Fat Girl, you just started. That’s true. But I would say back to you- I sweat my ass off.  I work so hard. I drink kale for breakfast, for goodness sake!!  Also, like many in my generation, I’m an ‘instant gratification’ type of girl.
So now, I need to find the silver linings, even of they’re small. Those moments that will remind me that I’m doing to the right thing.  That all the sweat covered shirts, sweaty butt marks left on weight machines (you’re welcome), and delicious kale shakes are ALL worth it!
What are your silver linings? What do you look for to keep you going?
For me, I’d like to see some change. Maybe in my stamina (to give myself some credit, I can do a lot more than when I started, so there’s that), a smaller shirt or pant size, or at the very least my current shirts and pants to fit a little better. It would be nice.
It’s hard to work hard and feel like you aren’t really truly getting anywhere, but this is my year. THIS IS MY MOMENT! I am lucky enough to be able to enjoy this time out of work, and not really have to worry about anything. That doesn’t mean I’m sitting around eating bon bons and Pringles. No. This is my opportunity to work on myself, and I will do just that.
It’s go time.
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A picture of me in my sweat drenched shirt.