Man-Bun-Child (a follow up to Dad-Bod-Child)

Oh hey there!!  Let me start out by saying that this entry was initially going to be a slightly boring one about how Franz and I moved to (yet another) new gym.  The one we were training in closed, and a gym about 15 minutes away absorbed my sweet Franz, and much of the old gyms equipment.  I’m oh so excited to be reunited with all of the torture devices, in a new location.  So, to be super basic about this, me following Franz from gym to gym is like a puppy following it’s owner, or a horse following a carrot.  Something like that.  I just want to follow Franz wherever he may go…. enjoy the song that plays in my head when I think of this.

 

Ok, so let’s dive in.  It’s the first day at this new gym.  I’m late, because it’s a whole new commute to a new place.  Let’s not get into the part about how there were SEVERAL drivers going FAR BELOW the speed limits on the road…. clearly testing my road rage (Massachusetts, you’re going soft).

Being late, Franz is set off, and pretends to be annoyed with me.  The fact is, he is all giddy that we are in a new place, and he can torture me in front of new people.

Quick side note:  This ‘new’ place is so outdated in design and decoration, that it reminded me of my childhood days on vacation in the Borscht Belt with my family, at a stellar resort called Kutsher’s.  Think: Dirty Dancing, and never update it.  Ever.

Anyways, were working out, and I am silently reminiscing about all of the making fun of me, that Franz has done, during our time at the last gym.  Those poor young boys had no idea that we had been joking and laughing, and talking about how I could be their mom… ahh… I’ll miss you Dad-Bod-Child.

As I am doing an insanely difficult arm exercise, I look around and see a young trainer, with a beard and a man bun.  Bait.  I turn to Franz and say, ‘So, who’s Man Bun?’

‘Whoa!! Look at you!  He’s even younger than ‘Man-Bod-Child’!’ he says.

Then, without even taking another breath, Franz turns to Man-Bun-Child, and says, ‘HEY!! My client is checking you out!!  But uhh… she could be your mom, so….’

And there it is.  He’s lucky I don’t get embarrassed about things like that.  Mostly, I just like to make a scene as if he’s embarrassing me, to embarrass him.  Most of the time, I think I win.

Man-Bun-Child turns to me, and says, ‘Yeah I just look older because, well… this and this’, while motioning to his facial hair and bun.  Then, follows it up with, ‘Don’t get distracted!!’

Ouch. Don’t worry Man-Bun-Child.  I’m good.  Just know, you’ll be a pivotal part of our jokes and laughing, when I’m at the gym.

P.S.  I’d like all of my close friends and family to know that Mike named this entry.

P.P.S.  Today I hurt Franz, by accidentally hitting him where it counts, and I’d like to publicly apologize.  I was swinging my arm in self defense of him about to smack me on the back (probably for being an asshole), and I got him good.  My sincerest apologies… Your MMA Approved Cup is on it’s way via Amazon Prime.  Also, I will take into consideration my brute strength, and be more gentle when I am on the defense, next time.

 

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And The Winner Is…

A week ago, or so, I posted an image of three shirts, on facebook.  I asked friends to choose which one they thought would be the best new addition to my gym shirt collection.

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After some serious voting, and reasons why I should own whichever shirt they thought was best, I have a winner.

I have worn this shirt to training to see Franz, who took a picture of me in it (face excluded because who the fuck knows who he’d show it to), and then he laughed at me.  I also plan to wear it to my next adventure, which you will be hearing about VERY soon!

So, without further ado, DRUM ROLL PLEASE…..

IMG_1512I am (obviously):

FITish

Someone who likes the idea of being fit, but also really likes food.

See also: Semi-fit, kind of fit.

 

I’d like to thank each and every one of my friends who took the time to ‘vote’ on this very important decision.  I am proud to be able to say that I am wearing a shirt that my FGW fans chose for me! 😉

Get Out And Wun.

 

P.S. I still have the first shirt in my Amazon shopping cart…. just in case.

I’m All About The Numbers

Ok, so, some people reading this blog have known me for a very long time, and could probably attest to the fact that I am NOT good at math.  I never picked up anything in math class very easily, and when I couldn’t understand something, I usually just let my brain do its thing… and wander some where else.  Like, ‘oh, you can’t do this? Ok. Let’s go on a swirly whirly ride into a daydream’.  This is why I failed at all my math classes.

So, now knowing this about me, I bet you’d be surprised to know that I have become focused- err… obsessed with numbers.  ‘What numbers could she possibly be talking about?’ you may ask.  That would be a very good question!  Nutrition Facts.

I’m not here to bore you with how I carefully read each label, which I do.  I’m also not here to tell you about how I surprise myself with learning how bad the foods are that I previously thought were healthy, which I also do.  No, I’m here to tell you how I sit, sometimes for hours, adding nutrition labels, measuring portions, and analyzing meals that I make at home.

This all started with Turkey Chili.  I made a huge batch.  Enough to feed me probably 10 meals.  While I cooked, I kept a notebook to the side, and jotted down the N.F.’s (this is how we will refer to Nutrition Facts, from here on out) for each and every ingredient.  If I used the whole can of tomatoes, I figured out the facts for the whole can, and wrote that down.  Calories, Fat, Carbohydrates, Sugar, Protein.  Once I had the entire list of ingredients and their N.T.’s, I added them all up.  This gave me the total numbers for my massive batch of Turkey Chili.  When the chili was done cooking, I carefully measured it out by serving size, and then divided those totals by the number of servings that it made.

Since then, I have done this for every single meal I make.  Turkey Chili, Turkey Meatballs,  Bean Salad, Chocolate Protein Balls, Cloud Bread, Cauliflower Pizza, Cauliflower ‘Fried Rice’, Overnight Oats, etc. etc.

Here’s where the obsession begins.  When I figure out the N.F.’s, I immediately start thinking about how I can cut down the calories/fat/carbohydrates… or whatever, by using different ingredients.  That’s when research happens.  My  best example is Overnight Oats.

I thought Overnight Oats would be a good breakfast for me to have, and would be a nice change of pace from a protein shake or eggs.  I used a recipe, adjusted certain things (like not using sugar, and instead, using Truvia), and made the stuff.  When I was finished, I added up the N.P.’s, and realized that it was an INSANE amount of carbohydrates and calories for a 4oz. portion.  Like I didn’t want to waste my time eating this!  Thus began two hours of researching how I could adjust the recipe.  I was adding, scribbling, and crossing things out in my notebook, and ultimately purchasing new food products off of Amazon.

Two days later (what up, Amazon Prime!), I was making my Overnight Oats again.  This time, however, I had managed to cut the calories by half, and the carbohydrates by a third.  Proud of myself doesn’t do this justice.  I was like a kid in a tasty oatmeal shop!

Since then, after I have perfected my recipes, I write down ingredients, brand names of products, and then finally- N.F.’s for each serving on a small index card.  I store these in a little box, tucked away, and I can pull them out anytime, and make the meal, without worrying about doing my math.  Perfection.

So, I’d like to take a moment to give a big shout out to all my math teachers- from Kindergarten to Senior Year.  You did it.  I like my math…  just don’t ask me to start doing any algebra.

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This was my latest creation.  My take on Texas Caviar.  This is one of the neatest written logs I have EVER done.  And yes, that’s one of three, of my handy dandy notebooks.