I think I’ve made that very clear. I mean, I suck on my volleyball team, I pretend to be a runner, I think sports injuries include pulling my groin while walking, and of course, I can’t work out in the weight room by myself in fear of killing myself or someone else.
So basically, I’m not actually athletic, I’m just thinner. Sometimes, people will get that confused. Like my trainer for example. Yes, back to talking about HIM. During warm up on the treadmill, he thinks it’s necessary to put me on the highest incline possible, at a decent rate of speed. It’s kind of like speed climbing Mount Everest (I think, I could be wrong though). Someone might look at me and think, of COURSE she can do that! No problem! WRONG. I was heave-hoeing my way along. Heavy breathing, sweat dripping, legs burning, and of course I was telling him to ‘get the fuck away from my treadmill before I kill you’ while swatting his hands away. I’m super pleasant. 🙂 BTW warm up is only five minutes.
Yesterday, while doing my upper body work out with my Trainer, he started to say these absolutely insane things. I’m not quite sure what he was thinking. He would say things like, ‘I train you like this so that someday you can do it by yourself’, and ‘When you don’t train with me, you should come and do these routines on your own’. WHAT?!? How does he not know me, by now? I won’t try to lie to you… my reaction went something like this: I straight up looked at him and said, ‘I will always need a trainer. I will never be alone. I can’t be left alone. You’re insane.’ and I followed it up with, ‘You do know this will become a blog, right?’ This was all happening while I was lifting an Olympic Training Bar (or something like that… honestly, he told me what it was called, and I didn’t listen) into my fucking crotch. He only responded to me by laughing. I’m pretty sure he was laughing at a combination of my Dumb Workout Face, my complete honesty, and the fact that he knows I write about him.
So yeah, I’m definitely not athletic. At least I try, though. I honestly don’t give a fuck if I embarrass myself, or look like a complete asshole. I’m doing it. I have come a long way from when I first joined a gym, and was completely embarrassed about being drenched in sweat when I left. I mean, isn’t that the point?
My how times have changed.
This is what ‘Lower Body Murder’ day looks like, when I’m done.